I Am NOT Sorry!

I am not sorry about how I am. I am not sorry about who I am. I am not sorry for coming down and changing the way i think, changing the desires of my heart. I am not sorry for wanting better for you. I am not sorry for the changes I made to go a different path for myself and the whole family. I am not sorry for learning and growing from all my issues.

I have made a tremendous amount of mistakes and I am in the life now where I am trying right all my wrong. Know that I can only say I am sorry so many times for something I only made one mistake for. and I know for sure I have apologized for it in tears and at times I had no words or a label of the mistake i just knew i was truly sorry. But again, i can say it a thousand times, but its up to you to receive it, and move up with it.

In mistakes we are to learn and grow from them. In mistakes we do our best to never do it again. We may fall but we have to get up, take notes on what to do next time and what not to do. I feel as though i have done that. But i do see that you have not forgiven or learned and grew from this. You have not been willing to let go of anger and bitterness of the past. I will leave that up to you and God. I am here to support and do my best to right my wrongs the best way I know how. And if my love for you does not show that, then you have been blinded by your own anger. This is a choice you decided to keep going down. I cannot make this choice for you to change. All I can do is pray that you do.

For the last and final time from the past to the present time (i am sure there are more but for different things) I AM SORRY! But what you will not do is hold it against me.

I have fallen

Sigh, well today is on of those days where I have to pull out my dust rages and dust myself once again. What have I done? Did not I tell myself that I would not do this again. And here I am. What can I do to get out of this? Why does it seem to be so hard? Why am I so difficult to understand? Am I looking for something? Is there such a deep void in my being that I just have to fill it with something?

I have to do better. There are somethings I have to change TODAY! What choices will i make? What things do i need to completely cut off to make my journey easier? What people, places and things do i need to shake off my life to walk this journey with God more peaceful? I know its not going to be easy but as i always know being on God side is the best Side. I would not have it any other way.

So now the choice is to go hard after Him. All the energy that I put into this fall, i know i can get back up in HIM and keep going. All this worry and condemnation I can put towards reading, writing, fasting, and getting closer to Him. God is my way out. He said in His Word that He will make a way of escape and this is it and this how you stay out and not go back in.

Father,

Here I am. Its me again and again and I am sure again. I know you are HOLY and YOU do not wink at falling. I am here to get it right. I repent for all thoughts and deeds that are not like You. I have broken Your Heart once again. And that is not a good feeling to know. After all that You have done for me. And I still show You my back side. That is not how a child is to treat their Father. Father continue to make me and clean me. Get me back in place. I accept the chastening because I know when You do, You love me. If I don’t feel it, that is a scary place to be. So here I am Lord. Take me, Cleanse Me, Cut me, Shape Me, Build me again. I am Yours.

I CHOOSE YOU LORD!

In Jesus Name Amen

Get Back Into Gods Love

This week has been a hassle. My mind has been so full. My mental status has been overwhelming. Full of worry and tears. Full of just being tired. Wanting this to be all over. How can we speed this process up. How can I just get out of this with no scares or wombs that would need to be continually bandaged up. What do I need to do. I will do anything at this point.

Today I decided to sit back and look at whats going on. Today I decided to just give in. I do not have anymore tears. I have no words to say anymore. My mind and heart are passed exhausted. “Lord you have to help. I give up. I release everything about my life. I am always praying about my finances, my marriage, and my calling. And i am able to release it and trust you. But for some reason i have this hard time with children.

I love my children. But to finally realize that the You The Lord Loves them so much more. You loved us so much that you created a situaton for us to come to YOU. YOU will do the same for them. I will have to let go and let you do as you please. I lift my hands allow You to have your way.

I know now that i have to get back to Your Love. I know if I get lost into Your Love I do not have to worry about anything. Here I am giving it to you.

You got this!!!

know that God loves your children more than you can ever. Know that you can Trust Him with all their needs and He will create a moment where they will know HIM.

Looking forward to that moment.

In Jesus Name

Amen

More Than Just YOU

I know we are a people that tend to support our own kind. But what is a kind? I know some look at color, some look at employment class. None of this matter. Man Kind is the only kind. Just because I am darker than you or you are lighter than me, or different tone than me, doesn’t mean what i have cannot help you. Your story can help me, My story can help you. What you know can help your neighbor. What is making us so blind when it comes down to this. When you go before God, He is not going to look at color. He is not going to look at how much money you make. He made all of that anyway. He is going to look at how you treated your neighbor; did you obey what He told you to do. The only Race should matter is this Race to Salvation. The Race to get to Heaven. We must finish this Race. Let me hold your hand and you hold mine. Let’s come together and make this community of love. No race forgotten.

Lord Our Heavenly Father,

We need you in this world. The color of our skin has blinded us. Some of us are the main ones against our own kind. Allow us to see you. And in you there is no color. Your Idenity is what we need. Help us Lord. Cleanse us, Save us, Make us a better Kind of People that honors You in all that we do. And to help whoever it is not matter the person, color, and struggle.

We want you. Here we are. Change us, Use Us, we are here.

In Jesus Name

Amen

DON’T GIVE UP

Have you ever felt that you received a gut punch? The dreams and desires you had for yourself. You were so excited about what was getting ready to happen. All the steps getting to it was exciting to talk about. But when the vision comes or the situation is laid in front of you, its not what you expected it to be. This reminds me of the story or Elijah and the Woman with the cruise of oil. They both was struggling. Elijah was told to go to this woman’s house, and she would have what you need there. At the same time this woman and her son are preparing their last meal. She told the Man Of God that this is all she had. But she obeyed. Imagine what He thought when he got there. I am sure it was a shock to him. Like Lord, really. This woman and her son are preparing this and to die. But he also obeyed. And at the end they both obeyed GOD and was blessed by it.

I am currently in a position where I just got a gut punch to a desire that I had. I was so excited about what God was going to do. I Finally start to think about myself and what I desired. But when I looked at it when it was time to accept it, I began to second guess everything I was excited about. I began to question my choices, and if this was even Gods Will for me to even do this. I am starting to pray, just to make sure this is the Will of the Lord. If it is, I know He will provide every need.

If and as you find yourself in this position, Trust and Pray that it is in His Will. And if it is, He will provide everything you need to succeed as you continue to put Him first.

Heavenly Father,

We are here standing before saying this is us again. There are somethings that we desire that we want to lay before you. We would love wisdom and clarity if it is Your Will that this happens. If it is not Your Will remove it from thought and give us the Will of You that you desire of us. We need you. We do not want to go around a mountain or add debt to our lives if it’s not you will. Grant us peace on the decisions we are about to make.

In Jesus Name Amen

Consistancy

This is one of the hardest things for me. But when you want something bad enough you will do what you have to do to make it happen. You will have to continue to build on what you already have and once you get there you will be ready. You do not want to get to a platform you been desiring and not be ready. What products do you need to buy, what posts do you need to make, what education do you need to gain. There are so many steps to get to some goals, but some are just a reach or step away if you stay consistent. We can do this. You know you want it. You can taste it and feel it. You even dream about it. What is your hinderance. Or are you your own hinderance. I know we say life happens, but life is always going to happen. We say there is not enough time in the day, but we all have 24 hours in a day. We give 9-12 hours a day to a job that you do daily. Some have a second jobs, it may be a real job or it may be parenting and household life. If you didnt know that is a real thing. Especially to us mothers. We wear so many hats we tend to forget that we are human too and we have goals as well. We can do this.

FATHER IN HEAVEN,

We come to you giving you our lives. The good the bad the ugly and the indifferent. We give you our strengths and our weaknesses. We give you our emotional, Spiritual, Financial, Relational beings.

Lord today we come asking you to lead and guide us to what you desire us to do. Help us and give us wisdom on how to stay consistent with it. We are consistent with everything else but our call to you and our own being at times. Lead us back to that place so that we can flurish.

in Jesus Name

Amen

Its Not Over

Have you ever prayed “Lord I am giving everything over to you. I trust you with everything i have.” And when you did, things start to seem to go okay, but a small voice comes to mind saying “No you this is not happening, or this person is doing this, and that you are losing control. When you see yourself not being able to do the things you used to do. Your hands seem to be tied, your finances seem to be tied up as well so you can give to people when asked. There are just so much going on that you start to really see.

But in this i want you to be careful. This can be a trick of the enemy trying to pull you back into your old thoughts and deeds. This could be yourself over thinking everything, and forgot you stated that you trusted God.

Trusting God is when you can not see what is ahead. When you dont know what is about to happen. But you know that what you prayed for is in Good Hands. Know that you are not alone in this. We all tend to try to put our hands into things when its not moving fast enough or if its not going the way we want it to. If we keep doing it we shoulld stop askng God to help with it because He is a gentleman, He will not force or make you do anything.

This is the time to Trust Him Fully. Trust that He has everything… LET GO AND LET GOD! its not over!!!

In Jesus Name

Therapy

This is what I learned about Therapy. There is nothing wrong with it. Some of us will need this more than others. Talking about what is going on with you, good bad ugly and indifferent, its good to let go. This is baby steps. We can not always try and run and get better. At times we have to deal with one thing at a time. if we try and do it all at one time, we will find ourselves overwhelmed. And this is not always a good place for us. If you feel like you are in need of help, get help. Pray and ask God on what direction to go in to get the help you need. Trust that He has placed others in the world to help us walk through this. I have always said that we are not to go through this life’s journey alone. God has a way to bring it all together. But we have to want it. No one said it would be easy. But in time it would get better as let go of things. Give yourself grace that you are going to make it though this.

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before you to lead and guide us on how to become free. Lead us to who we can talk to in order to be help. Allow the person you lead us to, lead us back to you and willing to pray with us and lead us in the right direction. allow them to have a heart for us. Because the reason we seek for therapy is to realize we need help. We know we can trust you we also know you place people in the world to help us as well. We trust you to do so.

We Love You

In Jesus Name

Amen

It’s Okay To Ask

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you needed to ask questions? Have you ever had questions about your calling? Have you ever wondered what your purpose was in life? It’s OK to have these questions if you’re a human being you ask them daily. When you have a relationship with God, that means you have a pursuit to want to know what you’re calling is. As a Christian, we find ourselves wanting to be obedient to his word. In this, we must start reading God’s word and fasting and praying more in order to know what this really means. I started to do a prayer journal to know where I am that day and to answer whatever questions I may have from God.

In this, we must start reading God‘s word and fasting and praying more in order to know what this really means. I started to do a prayer journal to know where I am that day and to answer whatever questions I may have.

Once you get into learning, God’s word and understanding what it means, you’ll begin to see your walk with God come clear. Continue with this walk I promise you’ll get the answers that you’re looking for.

Once you get into learning, God‘s word and understanding what it means, you’ll begin to see your walk with God come clear. Continue with this walk I promise you’ll get the answers that you’re looking for.

Dear Lord,

We come to you today thanking you for this day. Giving us the money to come to you with our questions. Our questions today are about our calling. We are surely wanting to be obedient to you and what you ask us to do. We don’t wanna find ourselves later in life trying to figure out what our purpose is. So we’re coming to you now on this day. As we reach your word, allow us to understand and know for sure what we are to do.

So we’re coming to you now on this day. As we reach your word, allow us to understand and know for sure what we are to do.

In Jesus name amen

Trust God In Everything

This has been a interesting season. There is so many things going on. There are so many distractions, so much doubt, so many words and thoughts to cross my hearing and my mind. What do I have left to do? What is that I need to say? Where is it that I need to be?

People are talking, Thoughts are going 1000 miles per hour, My body is so tired, and My Spirit is heavy. What? Why? When? How? Who? Where? Help me understand!! Lord I am here!! I am no longer listening to outside voices, nor am I listening to my inner man. I can not offord to do it anymore. It has not taken me anywhere. So I know I can turn to You in Everything. Not just on Sunday, Not Just on prayer day or Bible Study. This is daily. This is my life.

This is a new change. A new change in my mind, body, soul and thought. In Everything. In my marriage, relationship, children, job, ministry, goals, dreams, desires, finances, home, on the highways and byways and family. Lord even in everything i did not name. Everything You have blessed me with, I give it Back to You! Its Yours anyways.

we come together, we come individually!! Hear our plea and our prayer!!

and we do believe in it all

in Jesus Name '

AMEN!!

FIND YOUR PERSON

Today has been a interesting day. We had a meeting, and it was talking about feeling isolated and unheard. Now this started to make me think about somethings. I asked a group of people and i asked them the same question. i did not know what kind of answer i was going to get but i asked so i must have been ready to hear what was about to be given to me.

Some were very truthful saying that they don’t trust a whole lot of people. Which is great. You're not supposed to. Some said they have learned to trust me for work things and some personal. Some even went so deep after the conversation really started rolling, said they needed to go back to therapy. I do not see anything wrong with that. Some of our cultures are afraid to go to see someone. But you will never know if it helps until you go. Some therapists are there to really just listen while you let all your stress and suppressed feelings go.

If we be honest with ourselves, we all have this to work on. No one always says what is on their minds and heart. Until they find that person.

Some of us have spouses, but some of them we do now really talk to because we do not feel we can trust them with are deepest darkest things.

Some of us are true believers, and we tend to say, “God is my Person.” as He should be for all of us. I also believe that He did place others down here to be HIS Voice for us.

With all this being said, Find That Person. Pray and ask God to show you who it is. And He will show them something that no one knows about, and you will know that you know that it is of God.

Father,

We come to you asking you first off to forgive us for all the has been said, done, thought, and surpressed emotions. Lord some of us have trust issues because we have been burnt by people we thought we trusted. And then there is some of us who really just do not know. We never knew we had a voice, or even felt that we did not have permission to speak up. Lord show us our person here on earth. We know that You are all that we need for sure, we also know you have called servants to help us here on earth and to speak Your Words. Give us wisdom to know.

In Jesus Name

Amen

When You Feel Dropped:

Have you ever felt that you were dropped? Have you ever just looked around and notice that no one is around? Have you ever needed someone to talk to and no one answers you? Psalms 27:10: When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will take me up.”

This is just not only for the parents, but this could also be for family, friends, and or anyone. Looking over my own life, I have been dropped, or they have turned their back on me. When I felt this, i fell into a deep depression, and deeper into my sin that i was already in. Why come out when you don’t have anything on the other side waiting on you. You come out and all you see is fingers pointing at you, or people not there for you.

Once you get alone and really start to think and you have nothing else, THE LORD comes in and shows HIMSELF to you. Shows you that He has been there the whole time, always from the beginning and the end. He shows you many ways that when everyone left you or you felt alone, He was there. He is there!!

Father

We come to You asking you to forgive us. Forgive us for all things that is displeasing to You. Lord we ask You to be with us when we are alone and feel like we have no one. We need you in all that we do and need. we want to say thank You for being here for us even when we cannot see You or feel you. Thank You for letting us know that You will always be there for us. We dont always get it right. we are yet imperfect, but when You come in, You will make things right. Thank You Lord!! We give You our lives.

In Jesus Name

Amen

FALL BACK INTO GODS ARMS

WE have made it into October which leads us to Fall weather. We know that the weather is getting cooler as the day goes on. some of us been waiting for this to happen. I know us in Tx it’s been hot all the years long and I mean that. but now that the fall has come, we are all switching up out closets and bring out winter or color clothes to the front, and our boots out as well.

BUT in this time, at the same time, lets continue with out relationship with God. When you think of fall, lets fall back in Love with our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ. Let us let Him know that we are longing for Him and we need more of Him in this season.

we also know we are 3 months out before the year is over. I have said multiple times that God is not through yet this year. Something is going to happen this year that is going to Blow our minds as Saints. Rather if it’s one person or a whole community I don’t know yet but yet i believe. I know we all may have set resolutions but some of us have set our minds on Relationship with Him. IF you did, lets continue in it. if you fell off fall back in. He is still here. We must “seek Him while He may be found” ISAIAH 55: 6-7. He asked us a question,” How long shall He strive with man” Genesis 6:3.

Let’s Continue to FALL after God, FALL in or back in Love with Him, Let us FALL back into relations with Him. Let’s FALL in AWE of Him.

Father we come before you First of all asking You to forgive us for Falling out of relationship with YOU. We are so caught up in life to where we have forgotten You. Lord in this season of FALL we are going to FALL for you again. We are going to get back into YOUR Word, Fast and Pray. Become Intimate with YOU as we have done before. Lord accept us again. Here we are FALLING FOR YOU. '

IN JESUS NAME

AMEN

PRAYER AND DREAMS

Father we are in desperate need of you. We are so lost without you

In this dream, I seen dark spirits coving the sky. Lining up by the millions. So many people was running trying to hide. Thinking that they could hide and get away. Even thinking they could go to a different part of the world. But they were everywhere. They were killing and torturing. It did not matter who you were. I know in the Bible it says that the enemy will come and make us worn out. He is going to come and pull a lot of them away bc they were ready or they thought they had more time. It's like a thief, a lot of others reference it, but it is so true. When you that thief comes, you don’t know when he is coming. Some thieves dress up in all dark clothes, some just come as they are and it can look like you or i. no gender matters. He comes to steal from you. Not just your material things but your life. And if you are not ready and have your armer on, you will lose. The enemy is coming with all that he has on us, every weapon that made our knees buck, or things we feel like we need to survive, or things we think is okay bc we feel like we got that time to live life. We don’t have that much time. We are literally at the end. Many has said it but have we really taken heed to what that really means. That means we don’t have time to play games, or live our best life, we don’t have time to be playing church, punching in our time clock and jucking and jiving all over the place.

We got to be ready,, we have to get ready now…

The Beginning is God

We are in a season of desiring to be made home. We are in a seizing of wanting and desiring to be free. We desire, true love and transparency. There are so many prayers request before God and this season, but to get all these things we must truly come to God. It all Starts with God. He is there awaiting with open arms. He is there with your prayers in hand. All he wants is your heart, also to surrender fully to him, and to obey. He promises to take care of us daily.

Father, I asked You to show some to the one that may be reading this. Allow to know that You are awaiting them with Love, Grace, and Mercy. Let them know You want them. And that You have always been there for them. You hear their prayers for Freedom, Love, Wholeness, and Transparency . For someone to understand them. Let them know You are that One.

In Jesus name

Amen

Spring Cleaning is Needed!!

Spring time is here. We always Relate to spring flowers or spring cleaning. Have you ever thought to do that with your own natural life. Truly in all areas. Financially, spiritually, mentally, all relationships, all around must Be cleaned! One of my tag is come to God it’s pastime. I don’t just say that because it sounds good, but truly he is coming back. Will you be ready!!

Let’s go and be cleaned

Other things we are hanging onto that are not good for us, things that can fit us at all. We want to keep it because it’s cute or trying to keep FRIEND) to say face. Holding onto unforgiveness. Let it go and watch a shift.

FEBURARY/MARCH NEWSLETTER

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN US ON OUR NEW NEWSLETTER, PLEASE LET US KNOW. WE WOULD LOVE TO CONNECT WITH YOU. WE ARE TALKING ABOUTTHE LIFE WITH HIV. MY JOURNEY AND OTHERS JOURNEY AND EXPERTISE. WE ARE GOING TO DO OUR BEST TO KEEP YOU UPDATED ON EVERY CONVERSATION AND MANY MORE TO COME. YAL ARE AWESOME. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT AND ALL. I AM NOW ON TIC TOK. SUPER EXCITED ON WHATS TO COME. NOW THAT I HAVE MY LABTOP I CAN WORK A LITTLE BETTER. CONTACT US SO WE CAN CHAT LOVE YOU ALL

Say This With Me

I am attracting good things into my life

I am attracting abundance into my life

I am attracting prosperity things in my life

I am a check to unconditional love into my life

I am attracting happiness into my life

I am attracting opportunity in my life

I am attracting beautiful souls into my life

I am attracting financial freedom into my

I am attracting healthy vibrations in my life

I am attracting everything I need into my life

Life

There is so much going on in life now. People, opinions, bills, family, ministry, etc. Our minds are full of life, and concerns. Here is our prayer today.

Pray with me: Father today is a beautiful day. There is power of life and death in our tongue. Today we speak life. Life over everything we put our hands to. We place our lives in Your Hands. In Jesus Name Amen

Let today be Great!!!

Yours

Pray w/ Me:

Father, we are coming to You today wanting to thank You. But also we come with something specific that’s been on our hearts. Lord we ask You to take it. And give us wisdom and understanding on how to do it or let it go with Your Help.

We know “Matthew 19:26 But Jesus looked at them and said, With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with God. [Gen. 18:14; Job 42:2.] “

That’s why we are giving it to You. Whether it’s a marriage, business, relationship, ourselves, etc it’s Yours.

You told us to “1 Peter 5:7 Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. [Ps. 55:22.]”

In Jesus Name Amen