I have fallen

Sigh, well today is on of those days where I have to pull out my dust rages and dust myself once again. What have I done? Did not I tell myself that I would not do this again. And here I am. What can I do to get out of this? Why does it seem to be so hard? Why am I so difficult to understand? Am I looking for something? Is there such a deep void in my being that I just have to fill it with something?

I have to do better. There are somethings I have to change TODAY! What choices will i make? What things do i need to completely cut off to make my journey easier? What people, places and things do i need to shake off my life to walk this journey with God more peaceful? I know its not going to be easy but as i always know being on God side is the best Side. I would not have it any other way.

So now the choice is to go hard after Him. All the energy that I put into this fall, i know i can get back up in HIM and keep going. All this worry and condemnation I can put towards reading, writing, fasting, and getting closer to Him. God is my way out. He said in His Word that He will make a way of escape and this is it and this how you stay out and not go back in.

Father,

Here I am. Its me again and again and I am sure again. I know you are HOLY and YOU do not wink at falling. I am here to get it right. I repent for all thoughts and deeds that are not like You. I have broken Your Heart once again. And that is not a good feeling to know. After all that You have done for me. And I still show You my back side. That is not how a child is to treat their Father. Father continue to make me and clean me. Get me back in place. I accept the chastening because I know when You do, You love me. If I don’t feel it, that is a scary place to be. So here I am Lord. Take me, Cleanse Me, Cut me, Shape Me, Build me again. I am Yours.

I CHOOSE YOU LORD!

In Jesus Name Amen